Blah And Argh

As always please allow me to apologize for the lack of blogging as of late... I'm an ass. I realize this. Moving on.

Quick update:

Kaliis and I are currently living in Easthampton. We found this really cute 3 bedroom (although more like 2 bedrooms and a small room which might fit a twin size bed) which has a garden and is in a quaint neighborhood. Things are going well in that department.

And that's pretty much all of the good I have to share today...

My life has been an emotional rollercoaster as of late. My birthday was lackluster at best (although I appreciate those of you who took the time out of your busy schedules to help celebrate). Work has been stressful and annoying and not a day goes by that I don't wonder why exactly I found myself back at IHEG.

Then there's that girl.

We were hanging out again rather frequently. Things were good although slightly awkward at times. She single-handedly devestated my birthday and then proceeded to make me the happiest I had been in months. She did this in the span of 3 hours. Since then, however, things have turned for the absolute worst. Deceit (whether intentional or not), unreturned phonecalls/texts, last minute changes of plans, and everything else that causes good things to sour. Today I pseudo-ran into her at CVS. I know she saw me. She just walked on past without even a hello.

The strange thing, to me, is that I am pretty certain that I didn't do anything to cause this change of behavior. One minute we were baring our souls to each other like we had done in the past and the next it's as if we don't even know each other anymore. The shittiest thing about it all is that she still holds such a large place in my heart. If I could only force her out of there then I could easily just walk away. I am ready to sever all ties if need be. This ambivalence toward me is more crushing than anything that we have dealt with in the past.

I don't know. Maybe she'll read this and call me and things will definitively go one way or another. Maybe I'll get the story behind Sunday night and, if I'm lucky, an apology to boot. Or maybe this is truly the end. Maybe it was a mistake to even allow her back into my life. Anyway, this sucks.

Seriously.